Dear Uncle Kev

I was really upset to see you crying and I just want to let you know that a lot of people were crying with you. Even my Great Aunt Mavis was crying, because her hip replacement ball thing fell out. 

It must have hurt an awful lot. Dad said she shouldn’t be doing cart wheels at her age anyway.

I cried a bit too after Dad gave me that high five. Gosh he’s got big hands. And poor Mum has sprained her thumb trying to open that champagne bottle that she has been keeping in the fridge. So we are all crying with you Uncle Kev.

Dad’s friends have brought lots of beer around to our house and they’ve all got tears rolling down their cheeks… they are slapping their thighs pretty hard ‘tho. 

So please don’t think you are crying by yourself Uncle Kev, even Dad’s golf friend who works for Harvey Norman is upset ‘cos we won’t have to buy Dad any more new TV sets now.

Anyway Uncle Kev, I will send you half my pocket money now you don’t have a job. And Dad says he can give you a special job if you need one. I don’t understand my Dad sometimes ‘cos we got the sewerage all connected last month.

You can feel proud Uncle Kev, Dad says you have left a huge mark on the Australian political landscape… he says it’s a skid mark, so I guess that’s because you decided to surprise everyone and stop so quickly.

Good luck Uncle Kev,

Love, Phoebe 8, (and three quarters)