Did I ever mention the fact that words are important? Did I warn you all to watch out when people start redefining words? I should have mentioned that some words are less trustworthy than others. Adjectives are particularly slippery characters.

They sometimes have an aura around them which people take for granted. We might associate them with a particular feeling. They can lull us into a false sense of security. Sometimes they cultivate an overwhelming sense of positivity. Then, just when you least expect it, they turn around and scare the living daylights out of you.

Take the word “furry” for example. I only have to mention the word and you are already having visions of kittens or hamsters. Perhaps you are imagining a Labrador puppy chasing a deluxe, quilted toilet roll across a freshly manicured lawn. Furry is cute, right?

Well you might not say that if you had ever been to Shady Uncle Dave the stonehead’s place. The word furry takes on a new and sinister meaning when applied to the three-week-old Chilli con Carne under his sofa. There is nothing remotely cute about “furry” when you are describing the half a cup of coffee that has been sitting next to his lava lamp since the last election.

Don’t even get me started on that thing in the fridge with the tinfoil over it. I’m still having flashbacks over that one.

Another scary adjective masquerading as cute is the word, “diverse.” It sounds so lovely when we are talking about rain forests or coral reefs. Just picture a lush jungle with a plethora of different trees and plants supporting a huge range of animals which are cute and furry (usually in the nice sense).

When we apply the word diverse to a human society however, the reality isn’t always quite so positive; as anyone from the former Yugoslavia, Rwanda or Northern Ireland will readily attest. We are constantly browbeaten however, into the acceptance of this word as universally awesome.

Anyone daring to question this dogma risks retribution; ranging from disapproval to prison time. This may seem strange because not only does it defy common sense but studies that have investigated the subject have found that “diverse” societies are less stable, less safe, less trusting and have lower levels of just about anything that a sane, rational, person might want in a society.

I can’t say for sure where the sudden push for diversity came from. I do remember however around seven or eight years ago a friend being invited to a conference. The conference was for business leaders and the message it was promoting was the benefit of diversity in the workforce. The conference was organised and paid for by one of the big four banks.

Here is the funny thing about diversity though. The benefits of diversity are only ever promoted in white countries.

No one mentions the loss of diversity in Zimbabwe when the Europeans fled the murderous racist Mugabe regime. That seems strange to me because after losing that white diversity, the UN noted that for a country which was not at war, Zimbabwe experienced the most rapid decline in living standards it had ever measured

In fact, when you look closely at the meaning of the word “diversity,” it always seems to mean “fewer white people.” So, when Zimbabwe lost its white population and became a homogenous black society, diversity increased (according to the newly mandated use of the word).

When large corporations release diversity figures, they measure the reduction in the percentage of whites they employ. They celebrate this, even when whites are underrepresented as a percentage of the population.

Like all other Western based corporations, L’Oreal, the lipstick and eyeshadow manufacturer, bought into the joys of diversity in a big way. They recently decided to go out and hire a new “face of diversity.” This would be someone so diverse that even The Guardian wouldn’t bag them for it.

Unfortunately for L’Oreal however, they got a little bit more than they had bargained for (and they had bargained for quite a lot).

Not only was the new face of L’Oreal black, but it was also the face of a bloke who was so sexually adventurous that he had cut off his own todger and taken hormones to make himself grow breasts. You can’t get much further from a boring, heterosexual, white male than that.

L’Oreal would no longer be your typical cosmetics company staffed almost entirely with heterosexual white males. Now they would be different. They would push the boundaries. They would show people what could be achieved through hope and change.

What could possibly go wrong?

Well, I don’t know if it was the hormone pills that did it, or the rush of privilege which went to his head, but the new face of diversity decided to hop on to facebook and vent his frustration.

To L’Oreal’s horror, it turns out that the diversity ambassador they hired to help them get rid of white people, doesn’t like white people very much.

You could hardly blame him of course. The oppression and lack of opportunity for coloured people in the UK meant that prior to landing a prestigious modelling contract, he had to work his fingers to the bone as a DJ.

He let fly in a facebook posting (since apparently deleted) which hinted at his indifference to fair skinned people.

"Honestly I don't have the energy to talk about the racial violence of white people any

more.” He gushed. “Yes, ALL white people.”

"Because most of ya'll don't even realise or refuse to acknowledge that your existence, privilege and success as a race is built on the backs, blood and death of people of colour.

"Your entire existence is drenched in racism. From micro-aggression to terrorism, you guys built the blueprint for this sh-t.

"Come see me when you realise that racism isn't learned, it's inherited and consciously or unconsciously passed down through privilege.

"Once white people begin to admit that their race is the most violent and oppressive force of nature on Earth… then we can talk.”

Hmmm, so if I want to talk to this walking advert for the benefits of diversity, I have to admit my culpability in all the unfairness in the world; thanks purely to the colour of my skin. I’m not sure I am that desperate for a conversation, though I do have an awful lot of questions I would dearly love to ask.

Like for instance, if there is a race of people who are “the most violent and oppressive force of nature on Earth,” then why on Earth would you go and live in their country? And if you were unfortunate enough to be born amongst them, then why wouldn’t you just leave?

If black people kicked whites out of their countries because they couldn’t bear being ruled by oppressive imperialistic racist white people, why do so many emigrate to our countries to be ruled by oppressive imperialistic racist white people?

How is it that 20 years after we bombed Germany and Japan virtually back to the stone age, they rebuilt and became economic powerhouses. 

Meanwhile, seventy years after we left African countries intact and chock a block with natural resources, it is our fault that they are still mired in poverty and corruption.

How is it that if a person like Barry Obama is half white and half black, he is always one of the oppressed and never one of the oppressors?

How come if all of our success is due to slavery, that the six US states (and all the Latin American countries) which allowed slavery are the poorest parts of America today?

How did Canada manage to become so wealthy when there was no slavery allowed in that country at all?

And why are black people never accused of racism?

If a white person has said those things in the UK about the black race, we all know he would be facing jail time. Is that privilege?

And when are people going to realise that diversity is just a code word for “fewer white people.”

When are people going to realise that a white person celebrating diversity makes about as much sense as a turkey celebrating Christmas?

And why on earth, would a bloke want to have his todger cut off?

Maybe it is my unquenchable optimism or maybe it’s a figment of my imagination but I have a feeling that more and more people are starting to figure out the answers to some of those questions.

I sure hope so because I’m over this kind of hateful abuse.