After all his bloopers, what with not being able to remember Labor policies on on just about anything, Albo has reportedly been ordered to stick to a pre-prepared cheat sheet by his minders.

A copy of this alleged cheat sheet was leaked to Richardson Post’s super sleuth Paul Zanetti by a bloke down the pub who wore a hoody but sounded a lot like that ScoMo bloke.

In other words, it’s practically Gospel.

Don’t be surprised when he starts spouting these talking points during his press conferences.

Harry

Editor in Chief

Today’s press pack cheat sheet!

Topic – We Was So Poor

We was so poor my single mum would take us to Harvey Norman to watch TV.

We was so poor burglars broke into my single mum’s house to leave money.

We was so poor we ate cereal with a fork to save milk.

We was so poor my single mum would take us to KFC to lick other peoples’ fingers.

We was so poor my single mum scammed Nigerians.

We was so poor at Christmas my single mum got a box, put two sticks on it, spun it around and said, “Son, here’s your Xbox 360.”

We was so poor a cyclone hit my single mum’s house and did $20,000 of improvements.

We was so poor my single mum used to run after the garbage truck with her grocery list.

We was so poor one day when we were walking down the street, someone asked my single mum if she lost a shoe and she said, “No, I just found one!”

We was so poor when my single mum took us to the park, the ducks would throw bread at her.

We was so poor my single mum had to hang the toilet paper out to dry.

We was so poor my single mum got an eviction notice on her car.

We was so poor children from Africa used to send us money.

We was so poor my single mum would take the garbage in.

We was so poor my single mum couldn’t even afford to take us to a free clinic.

We was so poor my single mum used to wash paper plates.

We was so poor one night at dinner I grabbed a paper plate and my single mum said, “We only use the good dinner plate for guests.”

NO QUESTIONS,

Anthony ‘Oliver Twist’ Albanese

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