My 5 point plan for my firsht term:

by Anthony Albanese 

1. By 2024 every Aushtrayan child will be living in a houshing commission flat.

2. Any child who cannot do mafs or does not do their homework will go to the top of the classh.

3. Child care will be fwee.

Univershity will be fwee. 

Aged care will be fwee. 

Food will be fwee. 

Electwic carsh will be fwee. 

Dental care will be fwee. 

Transhgender reasshignment will be fwee. 

Beer will be fwee (ash long ash it’sh at an inner Shydney rave party). 

Coshmetic makeoversh will be fwee. 

Mortgagesh will be fwee. 

Sholar panelsh will be fwee. 

Shpeech fewapy will be fwee.

4. I will redyoosh the defishit becosh I’m an economic conshervative. This is a vewy impordant shtep to paying for all the fwee shtuff.

5. Bill Shorten will be Minishter for Women and Wape Crishish Centres.